I always wondered how my life would turn in such a way that every person I love would benefit from it. Sad to say, that turning point has not yet arrived. However, as much as I would like to accomplish all the things that I wanted to do (eg. travel, staycation, bake, and just sleep in peace for one day), I can't because my plans depended on how much I time I have after work or if I still have the energy to enjoy them.
Just recently, I have been offered a graduate degree offer overseas (the great down under) and I wanted (extremely wanted) to accept it. I feel so willing to give up my stable job to feel the thrill of living in a different culture and starting anew there despite having very limited resources to support my living. (I have parents who can help, anyway hahaha yes I still have backup but they would be my very last resort for finances). I can almost instantly be there and start the next intake for my Master's degree. However, I am so torn between pursuing it and staying for the job and my family.
Why? The answer to that intimidating question is: I feel sad just by the thought of leaving everyone behind for who knows how long. I love my job, the people I work with, the place that I live in, my friends, and most of all my family. I have everyone here, why go somewhere far? Knowing that I am in my comfort zone, feeling safe and secured, I do not have any worries but I don't also feel my life progressing. I am in a stagnant case of living a routine without any space for a better change which leads me to the option of taking the offer and accepting it.
Why oh why is life so difficult to understand?
It's true we can't always have everything, but at least I hope, we can have answers to every thing we needed. I'm still in the process of rethinking in accepting the offer. (I was given a year to decide if I want to accept it). Maybe, just maybe, I will have a final answer next time.
P.s I'm sorry, I was caught up with all the paper works in my job. Mind you, this is my second job after resigning on my very first job. lol.
P.p.s hope to hear from you, if anyone still reads this :)))
-Twinkle
No comments:
Post a Comment