I find it weird that I am writing again (after a really long time) about how I really feel. I just want a "place" where I could really put into words how I feel about a really huge thing coming up in just less than two weeks. It is normal to feel anxious when you are about to take an exam that will identify if you are qualified to practice your profession but I think my anxiety was way beyond my expectations. I suddenly felt terrible that the exams are coming and I do not feel that I know enough to pass that huge test. On July 21-22, my understanding of Psychology will be measured if I am competent enough to be called a Psychometrician and it kills to know that I could fail it.
I do study, but I don't know if it's enough...but I do study, everyday (except on Sundays) for more than a month now and so far I feel that I know something but when I take an achievement test or a mock board exam, my scores tell me otherwise. I do pass some tests but some of my scores are a few points below the passing score. (Yep, I am completely an idiot for being so indecisive to the point that it took me months to decide that I'll take the board. It was too late I guess. I decided to take the board just two months before the day of the exams and I don't know if two months is enough to know four years worth of lectures in Psychology.)
However, as much as I would really like to do something to be sure that I'll pass, I just never failed to pray to my Heavenly Father. He is my huge source of strength that I never make a day pass by without telling him my fears and my huge upcoming exams. Also, my family and friends never fail to cheer me up and message me "good luck on your review" "hangout after july". I think it is during these times that I am really able to know who really cares for me. My family (my parents) allowed me to be jobless until I take the board so that I'll have time for review, my friends scheduled hangouts after exams and my church friends promised to pray for me. These simple things, somehow eased my anxiety, my fear of taking the board, my fear of failing the board, my fear of being not credible for failing an exam. They made it all easy for me to get through with everyday. Mom would even ask me what I want to eat while I review (Sandwiches? Crackers? More food? Make donuts? Bake? she says it all and it makes me really feel loved by mom). Dad would be very supportive too, asking me what other stuffs I need for the review (and how much do I need). That's why I will feel really bad if I fail the exam because failing the exam means letting all those efforts go to waste, letting my parents down, letting my friends down, letting Heavenly Father down.
I just do hope to pass the board. And until then, I'll honestly announce the results of my exam. Pass or fail, I'll write about it (promise). But if I fail, please don't say I'm too dumb (because I already know it hahahaha).
I miss blogging!
xx
T
P.S Seoulid Adventure Series will still continue next month.
P.P.S July 30 is the day that the results of the Board Exam will be out. ;)
I do study, but I don't know if it's enough...but I do study, everyday (except on Sundays) for more than a month now and so far I feel that I know something but when I take an achievement test or a mock board exam, my scores tell me otherwise. I do pass some tests but some of my scores are a few points below the passing score. (Yep, I am completely an idiot for being so indecisive to the point that it took me months to decide that I'll take the board. It was too late I guess. I decided to take the board just two months before the day of the exams and I don't know if two months is enough to know four years worth of lectures in Psychology.)
However, as much as I would really like to do something to be sure that I'll pass, I just never failed to pray to my Heavenly Father. He is my huge source of strength that I never make a day pass by without telling him my fears and my huge upcoming exams. Also, my family and friends never fail to cheer me up and message me "good luck on your review" "hangout after july". I think it is during these times that I am really able to know who really cares for me. My family (my parents) allowed me to be jobless until I take the board so that I'll have time for review, my friends scheduled hangouts after exams and my church friends promised to pray for me. These simple things, somehow eased my anxiety, my fear of taking the board, my fear of failing the board, my fear of being not credible for failing an exam. They made it all easy for me to get through with everyday. Mom would even ask me what I want to eat while I review (Sandwiches? Crackers? More food? Make donuts? Bake? she says it all and it makes me really feel loved by mom). Dad would be very supportive too, asking me what other stuffs I need for the review (and how much do I need). That's why I will feel really bad if I fail the exam because failing the exam means letting all those efforts go to waste, letting my parents down, letting my friends down, letting Heavenly Father down.
I just do hope to pass the board. And until then, I'll honestly announce the results of my exam. Pass or fail, I'll write about it (promise). But if I fail, please don't say I'm too dumb (because I already know it hahahaha).
I miss blogging!
xx
T
P.S Seoulid Adventure Series will still continue next month.
P.P.S July 30 is the day that the results of the Board Exam will be out. ;)
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