How do you know?

How do you know when you’ve already moved on?

It has been 255 days since we last saw each other, to be exact. 255 days later and I still think about him but not in the way that I used to when it was just a week after we’ve seen each other. I used to pray for him everyday, pray if he was the one that was made for me forever, and I had very good answers from those prayers only to find that it was a different prayer that has been given great answers. Of course I felt bad knowing that he was not for me, but what really made me feel even worse was when I find out more about his past (that he didn't tell me about which I think, I deserved to know).

It did hurt and I don’t know how to describe that emptiness that filled my heart when I found about his past and his present. I asked myself: “Why am I hurting? If I really love him, I would accept him no matter how bad his flaws are” and I don’t know what to answer. It did hurt…it hurt like hell or even more than hell that it made me (who loves food and more food) stopped eating for a few days that even my family asked if I am on a diet. It was a bad time in my life, I even wished to just unlove him but I don’t know how…and I still can’t resist checking his profile and his new girl’s profile just to check on him if he’s alright without me (but of course he is!!!). [**note: this paragraph pertains to my feelings along time ago]

So, really, how do you know when you’ve already moved on?

You will feel it. 

You will feel that it is alright that you are not spending the rest of your life with him. He will not be the one you’ll think about when you wake up each morning. He will not be the first one you’ll think about when you read quotes about broken hearts. He will not be entering your mind as much as he used to. You won’t be longing for him as much as you used to. You will accept the fact that he was just meant to pass in your life and that’s alright. You will not check his facebook profile as much as you used to (or you might even unfriend him #bitter). You will feel that you are ready to commit again. You will not randomly think about him when you see a funny post and most of all, you will not feel anything when you see him again after a long time.

I haven’t done the latter and I am afraid that I might not. Just the thought of us seeing each other coincidentally gave me anxiety but I will work it out because I’m on my way to finally letting go of those pain that he caused in my being.  

My friend once told me a story about moving on and it goes like this…

When you are moving on…it is like having a bottled water (that represents your ex). Usually, people move on by going to a really faraway place BUT still bringing the bottled water with them, bringing the memories along with that bottled water which is not really helpful in the process of moving on.

Moving on is when you leave the bottled water behind and go on a distance without it.

It simply means forgetting about it. Leave the past behind. That’s how you will move on. Forgetting about him is sure difficult because it meant forgetting about all the good times that you shared together. But how will you move on when you still have memories of him with you?

Yes, it hurts my dear…but all those hurts that he caused will fade away when you let go of him…and I am telling you, it’s time to let go. It’s time that you live your life in a new perspective, without him in your thoughts and you will be alright because that’s how it is. 

xx

Twinx